Life after the Nest.

For much of last year, I struggled to keep my dream of owning my own business alive. I had worked so hard to build what I had and the thought of not having the shop was overwhelming and smacked of that dreaded word "FAILURE".

I started my business with nothing but a dream and strong desire and built it without a bank loan and by working a few jobs. It was my heart and became, in my mind, what defined me. Every time I tried to think about closing the shop my heart would clench and I would think "but who am I if I don't have my shop?" And to be honest, I took the decline in sales very personally. It wasn't until I was able to talk with several other local business owners that I came to know that it wasn't me, it was just business. Everyone was struggling.

I'm a firm believer in things happening like they need to and nothing being chance. After months of soul searching, I came to the conclusion that it was time to let it all go. I had applied for a few jobs here and there in the months before, but none of them were a good fit. Seems the Universe was just waiting for me to make a decision. As soon as I did, a job came and I was able to transition from business ownership into a paying position with a large company.

It's been a strange and often stressful time. For so many years I was able to surround myself with beautiful flowers and had the freedom to walk around my business and visit with people. There isn't that freedom in my new position. But the new job does bring its perks; a regular paycheck, regular schedule, being able to go home at a set time and not have to worry about what didn't get done and getting in early the next day to finish up.

In the transition, I've found a few things that I had been missing. I didn't realize how much my business had dictated my life. In the past few weekends, I've discovered the peace of working in my gardens and the joy of sleeping in on a Sunday with my husband and then taking off on a leisurely hike. I've learned that I'm not to old to learn something completely different and that it's ok to step out of your comfort zone. And I've learned that my business didn't define me, I defined my business.

I'm still processing the whole life change that I've gone through and, to be honest, there are times when my heart is still a bit sad and misses the beauty of my shop. But life is about change and embracing those changes. I'm excited about this new chapter in my life and look forward to moving toward a simpler life filled with fertile soil, time with my children and grandchildren and the opportunity to explore my creativity in brand new ways.

Life is beautiful and I feel very blessed.

Harvest Tea Time Again

I feel like every blog I begin to write lately starts with "I can't believe it's...". And here I am again saying "I can't believe it's Fall!" It's funny how this year it really caught me off guard. With all the major changes that I've gone through this summer, it's as if I've gone from task to task with blinders on and haven't taken the time to look around. A couple of weeks ago, I was driving in to open the shop and some color on the hill caught my eye. A beautiful little tree adorned with its Autumn dress of red leaves. And then I noticed that the entire hillside was dotted with the beginnings of the red, yellow and orange loveliness that mark the beginning of my favorite time of year.

This has been a year of changes and adjustments and my annual Harvest Tea is a perfect example. From my first Harvest Tea 5 years ago with 15 invited guests, I've maintained strict creative control over every detail. I would keep a file on my computer where I would place any recipe or decor idea that I found that I thought would be perfect for the tea. Much thought and planning went into the menu, the decor, the flowers and every cup, plate and linen that went on the tables. My Harvest Tea was the event that I looked forward to the most every year. The guest list grew from 15 that first year to 25 the next and then the year after that we had to cut it off at 40!

When I moved the shop into Mon Ami this Summer, Cindy approached me with the idea of joining our teas and creating something new. Bringing the best of what we both do into an event that would satisfy both of our creative souls and offer our guests a little something more. I love that we are working together to get the things that we both feel are important with the added benefit of sharing the labor. The Mon Ami team and I had a meeting the other day to discuss final details, and I'm thrilled with what we came up with. The menu is mouthwatering and the feeling of having a group of 4 like-minded women tossing around ideas was incredible. And it was a good lesson for me in letting go. Can you believe that when you let go of a little control, things can actually be better?!

I'm looking forward to the Harvest Tea on the 15th and the co-operative effort between the Mon Ami team and I. Cindy has a tag line that she uses that reads "Wishing you Grace and Plenty". Add that to my "Much Love and Laughter" and you have a combination that just about covers it all.

May your Autumn be a blessed one,